I posted this on FB, but a friend recommended I make it more public. So here you go kids:
Dear men of FB,
Most of you on my feed are pretty decent, but I’ve seen this happening a lot on my friends’ posts so I’m speaking up about it. When women share their stories of harassment, sexual assault, and rape, we aren’t asking for your advice. We don’t need to be reassured that not all men are like that. We already know these things. We’ve already taken self defense classes. We already walk home with our keys arranged between our fingers. We already have a bat or gun or some other thing we can use as a weapon sitting by our beds. We already have our just-in-case plans. Those plans are actually something that take up far too much space in our minds. We already purposely avoid eye contact with men on the street and on the bus. We don’t need your advice. We’ve heard it since we were children.
And we already know the “not all men” story. If we thought all men were rapists, we wouldn’t be friends with you. Most of us have brothers and fathers we love and trust. At least the lucky among us do. Most of us have male friends we feel fairly safe around. It is not your job to remind us.
When we are sharing our stories, we aren’t being misandrist. We aren’t accusing all men of the harassment and assault that has occurred in our lives. We are comforting each other. We are hoping someone hears and realizes that this is a real problem that needs to change, and we need the help and support of the male half of the population to make any significant change.
Most of you on my feed are pretty decent, but I’ve seen this happening a lot on my friends’ posts so I’m speaking up about it. When women share their stories of harassment, sexual assault, and rape, we aren’t asking for your advice. We don’t need to be reassured that not all men are like that. We already know these things. We’ve already taken self defense classes. We already walk home with our keys arranged between our fingers. We already have a bat or gun or some other thing we can use as a weapon sitting by our beds. We already have our just-in-case plans. Those plans are actually something that take up far too much space in our minds. We already purposely avoid eye contact with men on the street and on the bus. We don’t need your advice. We’ve heard it since we were children.
And we already know the “not all men” story. If we thought all men were rapists, we wouldn’t be friends with you. Most of us have brothers and fathers we love and trust. At least the lucky among us do. Most of us have male friends we feel fairly safe around. It is not your job to remind us.
When we are sharing our stories, we aren’t being misandrist. We aren’t accusing all men of the harassment and assault that has occurred in our lives. We are comforting each other. We are hoping someone hears and realizes that this is a real problem that needs to change, and we need the help and support of the male half of the population to make any significant change.
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